


Happier

by Steveuschrist



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Bad Ending, Dark Bruce Wayne, Guilt, Love, M/M, Sad Ending, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 19:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18146468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steveuschrist/pseuds/Steveuschrist
Summary: Bruce has been acting strangely for the past few weeks.





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this idea just this morning and cranked it out in about two hours. Not sure if it's exactly how I wanted it to turn out, definitely not my best writing oops.

It started weeks before when Bruce began to hesitate. He stood over people he’d injured, the gun pointing at them shaking instead of being held steady. He never hesitated. Never second guessed his actions. He finished them off anyway, but the way he turned away told Jeremiah everything. 

 

Once turned into twice, which turned into a five times, which turned into more than Jeremiah could count. When asked, Bruce brushed it off, as if he didn’t know what Jeremiah was talking about. 

 

Then the ticks began to show up. Bruce would sit in complete silence, completely still. Jeremiah would always approach him and asked if he was alright. On more than one occasion, Bruce would jump, like he’d been startled. Bruce was never startled by  _ anything _ , his senses were heightened enough. 

 

Jeremiah also found Bruce muttering to himself under his breath. Sure, he’d done the same many times over, but that was just something that Bruce didn’t do. Jeremiah considered the effects of the gas. Truly, even he didn’t know how it would alter Bruce. He’d based it off of Jerome’s version, adding a few twists in there specifically for Bruce. He wouldn’t say that the two of them had grown distant, but he had the sinking feeling that Bruce was hiding something from him. 

 

Bruce become more reluctant to go out into the city. He became even more sheltered, even towards Jeremiah. One morning, Bruce looked particularly tired. Jeremiah reached a hand up to his cheek. “Darling, you look exhausted.” 

 

Bruce blinked, shrugging his shoulders. “I think it’s just stress.”

 

“What are you stressed about?” 

 

“Nothing. I mean.. Nothing in particular.” Bruce replied, but Jeremiah wasn’t convinced. “You know, reunification, the military.” 

 

“You don’t normally get stressed over such small matters.” Jeremiah said, stroking Bruce’s cheek with the back of his hand. At that, Bruce turned away. 

 

“Well maybe I  _ am  _ stressed out over ‘such small matters’.” He shot back, and Jeremiah raised his eyebrows. 

 

“Bruce, that’s not what I-” 

 

“Oh, shut up! Not everyone has  _ your _ confidence, Jeremiah! Not everyone feels that same way as you!” Bruce stood, shaking his head. “I’m going out.” 

 

Jeremiah’s confusion at the outburst turned into rage, and he grabbed Bruce, pulling him back. He stared directly into his eyes, the sadness in them barely registering in his brain. “Don’t you  _ dare  _ talk to me like that! Don’t you  _ dare _ walk out on me!! Don’t you  _ dare  _ hesitate after everything I’ve given you!” 

 

His shouts rang throughout the silent room, his grip on Bruce’s arm unbelievably tight. He wanted to scream at Bruce, he wanted to hurt him. After everything they’d been through Bruce was just going to talk back to him and walk out when they had a fight?

 

Bruce’s eyes were blank, and after a moment of the two of them staring at each other he just shook his head, pulling free from Jeremiah’s grasp. He turned away, and Jeremiah heard him mumble under his breath. 

 

“I’m going out.” 

 

***

 

That night, Jeremiah stayed up in bed. He didn’t want to sleep until Bruce was safe. He felt guilty, he shouldn’t have yelled at him, he shouldn’t have grabbed him. He wanted Bruce to be safe in his arms, but he was growing worried that Bruce had entirely left. 

 

He was up for hours, playing the scene over and over again in his head. Bruce had a major moodswing, something new that Jeremiah hadn’t seen yet. Jeremiah couldn’t believe how angry he felt, how badly he wanted to keep Bruce there and yell at him. 

 

Sometime between two and three, Bruce came into their room through the window. Jeremiah had turned off the light, but he was able to make out Bruce’s figure pulling his armor off. When he was finished, he sat on the edge of the bed and buried his face in his hands, leaning forward. He was whispering to himself, but Jeremiah couldn’t make out what he was saying. 

 

He expected Bruce to lay down any minute with him, but he sat there for what felt like an hour. Eventually sleep took Jeremiah over, and the last thing he saw was Bruce’s figure. 

 

***

 

Jeremiah dug around for his notebook, wildly flipping through pages to find the right one. He landed on one towards the back, where his work for the insanity gas started. He checked his math, what he’d written down, how everything should alter the brain. 

 

The changes he’d made came next. He racked his brain, pulling out books and books on neurology. He’d made it specifically for Bruce. The core was exactly as Crane had made Jerome’s, but he’d modified it slightly for Bruce. He heard something outside of the room, but pushed it to the back of his mind. 

 

His work still made sense, the effects were all as he’d predicted, yet- 

 

The noise grew louder, and he closed his eyes, taking a moment to breathe. Now it was starting to bug him, distract him. He exhaled then opened his eyes, bringing them back to the page he was reading. 

 

The science wasn’t concrete. How certain things altered human emotions, actions, it was all on thin ice as most of it fell dangerously close to torture. Jeremiah knew the science was out there, knew that someone had probably gotten it all down and just hadn’t shared it with the rest of the world. But he wasn’t a torturer. He’d done it to Bruce to help him, to free him- 

 

“Will you shut  _ the fuck up?!  _ I’m working in here!!” Jeremiah suddenly yelled, his anger bubbling over. The noise was practically right outside his door now, and even though it was shut, it was coming through loudly and clearly. 

 

The noise instantly stopped. Jeremiah stared daggers at the door. What kind of noise was that anyway? What were they doing? He heard another noise that he couldn’t identify, before the person seemed to take off back down the hall, their footsteps hitting the floor bluntly. 

 

He rolled his eyes. Finally, some peace and quiet. 

 

***

 

Sadly, that peace and quiet got him nowhere, as he stared at his work and books for hours with no new leads. He shut the books, sitting back and rubbing his eyes. He should’ve known nothing would help him. He also knew that he would have to fully confront Bruce. This time, he wouldn’t lose his temper. This time, he would be gentle, he wouldn’t accuse Bruce. 

 

He pulled the door open and set off down the short hall. He turned the corner, and Ecco was sitting on the table a few yards away, overlooking their map of the city. She also had a fresh new one, and Jeremiah realized that she was updating it. “Ecco, have you seen Bruce?”

 

She looked up at him, marker in hand. She glanced off to the side, hesitating to say anything. 

 

Jeremiah took a step towards her, trying not to lose his temper. “Ecco, I just need to know if you’ve seen him recently.” 

 

She bit her lip, looking back at him. Her voice was uncharacteristically soft. “He was sick earlier. Didn’t want me to tell you.” 

 

He raised his brows, panic rising in his chest. “Sick? Bruce is sick? Is he alright? And why didn’t he want me to know?”

 

She looked down at the maps, like she wanted to look anywhere but at Jeremiah. “He was really upset. I tried to help him, but he just turned me away and told me not to say anything. A… a couple of hours ago I saw him, runnin’ down the hall. He was tryin’ to hide it, but he looked real upset again. Didn’t say anything to me, just ran.” 

 

“And.. he was sick earlier?”

 

She shifted. “Yeah.. pukin’ his guts out, I mean. He panicked when I told him I’d help, and when I brought up you..” She shook her head. “Boss.. you know I don’t mean to pry.. but what’s goin’ on between you two?”

 

Jeremiah walked towards her. “Forget that, which direction did he go in? Was his armor on?”

 

She shook her head. “He.. just seemed like he wanted to get away. Like somethin’ was after him. Down the hall.” She pointed, then gave a small shrug.  

 

Jeremiah spun around and tore off in the direction she’d pointed. 

 

***

 

How many rooftops had he run up to? He lost count. How many city blocks had he run? He wasn’t sure. How many time had he called Bruce’s name? He didn’t care. 

 

It was getting darker now. The sun was beginning to set, and Jeremiah had the sinking feeling that Bruce was still out in the city, still near danger. He managed to pull himself up to another rooftop, gazing around at the streets below. He wasn’t sure where he was. He took in landmarks. 

 

He was near the edge of the city, the river was a few streets away, and he gazed across to the mainland. He was in uncharted territory, or maybe the gangs didn’t want to mess with him. He called Bruce’s name again and again, moving to the other side of the rooftop to get his bearings. 

 

Peeking out from behind one of the buildings to his left, he realized he saw the edge of one of the bridges. He suddenly felt like he needed to go there. He needed to go to the edge of the city, to the bridge. 

 

He practically jumped down the flights of stairs and began to run to the street closest to the river. The bridge came into view, and despite his exhaustion from yelling and running, he found himself going faster and faster, yelling out Bruce’s name louder. 

 

He reached the point where cars had been stopped before they could exit the city. He weaved between them, having to climb on top of a few to make his way to the bridge. He reached the bridge, and there, he saw him. 

 

He stopped his movements, panting harshly as he caught his breath. Bruce was sitting down, a few feet away from where the bridge ended. He was staring straight ahead, and either he didn’t notice Jeremiah, or he was ignoring him. 

 

Jeremiah stepped forward. “Bruce..?”

 

Silence. Jeremiah swallowed thickly, taking another step towards him. Suddenly, Bruce spoke, glancing at Jeremiah. “Oh, Jeremiah, what are you doing out here?”

 

“I..” Jeremiah rubbed his arm, trying to figure out what to say. “You.. I was looking for you.” 

 

“Must be pretty important if you came out all this way.” Bruce said. He didn’t seem sad. He didn’t seem angry. “What do you need?”

 

Jeremiah sat down on the ground, a few feet away. He stared at Bruce. “Just.. wanted to speak to you.” 

 

Bruce shrugged. “Couples fight all the time. Don’t worry about it.” He returned Jeremiah’s look, and after a moment he titled his head. “You’re.. oddly quiet.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

“I know. It’s alright. I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

 

Jeremiah couldn’t help the frown that crossed his face.  _ That’s the problem. You  _ aren’t  _ saying anything.  _ “Are you feeling better? Ecco said you were sick earlier.” 

 

“Oh, just a bad can of fruit, I think.” Bruce replied. “I didn’t want you to worry.” 

 

_ I didn’t mean to yell at you. I didn’t mean to grab you. I don’t want to hurt you-  _ “Did you.. Just want some air? Seems like quite the trip to run all the way out here.” 

 

“I like looking at the bridge.” Bruce said, looking back at it. 

 

_ Because you hate what I did to the city. Because you miss your home. Because I messed everything up.  _ “It’s.. a nice bridge, architecturally speaking…” 

 

They sat in silence again. Bruce was brushing everything he said off, like it was no problem, like nothing was wrong. Was he even aware that he was doing so? Did he even care that he was falling apart?  

 

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Bruce said softly. “I just.. I’ll do better, I promise.” 

 

Jeremiah felt his eyes water as full realization hit him. “Yeah.. me, too.” 

 

*** 

 

Crane glanced at Jeremiah as he put the mixture into a vial. “He will likely not remember what happened. Are you prepared for that?”

 

Jeremiah held it closed, nodding once. 

 

“He is going to change. Maybe for the worse. He might tear down everything that you’ve built. Are you prepared for that?”

 

Another nod. 

 

“And when he stops you and brings in forces for reunification, when he turns all of us into the custody of the government, are you ready for the blame to fall upon you?” 

 

“Good luck, Scarecrow.” 

 

Jeremiah tucked it into his pocket and turned, heading out of the lab. Crane had come upon him far too late in the process, and when Jeremiah pointed the gun at him, he decided that he would likely lose the fight between them. Jeremiah had finished the mixture in silence, his brain entirely focused on science and not his emotions. 

 

He’d watched Bruce tear himself apart more and more everyday. Doing things that didn’t make sense, only to brush them off or deny them later. 

 

He’d torn Bruce’s city apart, then brainwashed him to love him and to think that it was alright, that everything was fine. He’d taken everything away from him. 

 

Jeremiah’s steps became heavier and heavier as he approached their hideout. He slipped into his study to pick something up. Everything was in place. Ecco knew what he was doing, though she wasn’t happy about it by any means. 

 

_ “You can’t! You’ll kill him!”  _

 

_ “I already am killing him.”  _

 

He felt a weight fall over him as he exited the room, going off to find Bruce. It didn’t take him long, Bruce was ordering some people around, pointing this way or that. 

 

Jeremiah hid the small device in his pocket, and he felt lopsided from it. It was so heavy, and the longer Jeremiah stood there, waiting for Bruce to be alone, the faster his heart began to race. Finally, after a couple of minutes, the two were alone together. Bruce turned to him. 

 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

 

Jeremiah took a step forward. Bruce was giving him the tiniest of smiles, but Jeremiah knew it was all a lie. Bruce didn’t really love him. He wasn’t really smiling at him. That wasn’t him. That was the version of him that Jeremiah had created, the one he wanted to see. He swallowed thickly, taking another step towards him. “I.. Bruce..” 

 

His friend waited patiently for him to continue. Jeremiah cleared his throat, and he realized that he was shaking. “I.. we’ve done a lot together, Bruce. We…  _ can  _ do a lot together.” 

 

Bruce nodded in silence, so Jeremiah took another deep breath. “I.. want to spend the rest of my life with you, Bruce. I.. I love you. I do things.. I say things that may cause you to think that I don’t, but I do. I.. I’m so sorry for fighting with you. I’m so sorry that.. that I promised you things and they haven’t worked out. I’m..” He felt tears spill onto his cheeks, his shoulder beginning to shake. He was going to do this. He had to. There was no other way. 

 

Bruce frowned. “What’s wrong? J, don’t.. It’s alright. People fight, we can fight. But our bond.. nothing can break us apart. We’re strong, our bond is strong. Nothing will break that.” He wrapped his arms around Jeremiah and pulled him close. Jeremiah threw his arms around him, suddenly sobbing at Bruce’s words. 

 

_ I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Bruce, please, please. Forgive yourself, forgive yourself, nothing was your fault. Don’t be mad at yourself, it’s my fault.  _

 

“I’m.. I’m sorry.” He said softly. He pulled away and brought a hand up to Bruce’s face. He kissed him desperately, trying to put everything into it, trying to put as much love into it as he could. Bruce quickly returned it, and Jeremiah held him there, reaching into his pocket with his other hand. He drew out the device, then broke the kiss. 

 

“Don’t.. don’t forgive me, Bruce.” He said softly. Just as Bruce was about to reply, Jeremiah stepped back and turned on the device, shoving it in Bruce’s face. 

 

The gas spilled out quickly, hitting Bruce directly in the face. He inhaled in surprise, and his eyes met Jeremiah’s. “J.. Jeremiah what did..?”

 

Jeremiah dropped the device, tears wetting his cheeks. “Bruce..” 

 

Bruce suddenly dropped to his knees, gasping for air and bending over. Jeremiah watched as his body began to shake, Bruce’s hands reaching up to grasp at his hair. He began to laugh, laughing and laughing and laughing. Jeremiah covered his mouth with his hand, watching in horror as tears fell down Bruce’s cheeks, his violent laughter filling the room. 

 

Then the room was silent, and Bruce slumped forward, entirely on the ground. Jeremiah dropped to his knees next to him, shaking him gently. “B.. Bruce?”

 

There was no reply, and Jeremiah turned him over. He held Bruce to his chest, rocking gently with him as he wept. He cried until he had no tears left. He sobbed until he could no longer speak. 

 

He had nothing left. He had no joy. He was empty. 

 

***

 

“Boss, you  _ really  _ should think about this!” 

 

“I don’t  _ want _ to think.” 

 

“It’ll kill you! Everything will fall apart-!” 

 

Jeremiah wasn’t shaking when he held the device this time. He was entirely still, holding it up in front of him. “I’m already dead, Ecco. A little more won’t hurt.” 

 

He closed his eyes and let the device work. He breathed the gas in deeply, and instantly he heard shouting. He began to spasm, his entire body shaking and jerking. “Boss, Boss!!” 

 

He broke out into giggles, then laughter, then something that was beyond laughter. He practically howled, because suddenly everything was just so  _ funny _ . 

 

Everything wasn’t just funny, it was all so  _ hilarious _ . He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. All he could think about was laughing. No more pain. No more nights spent gazing at an empty bed in misery. No more nights crying over broken hearts. No more. 

 

His laughter continued. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that got some of you in the feels. I'm not really great at writing angst with actual bad endings so... yeah. That's a thing. I hope you guys all enjoyed, or maybe I made you bawl and you hate me now. Thanks for reading!


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